Randy's Blog

Recovering or Recovered

This could be an argumentum subject for me as I am a recovering alcoholic. I myself believe that I will always be a recovering alcoholic. If I think that someday I have recovered from alcohol it could lead me to believe that I could be normal. When I say normal I mean that some people are able to just go out for a drink and leave a drink half empty and that was one thing I could never do unless I passed out with a drink in my hand, which when I woke up I would finish drinking no matter how warm it was. I have tried to think of myself as normal drinker but deep down inside I know that I am not. I have a disease that I will have to live with the rest of my life and I have to remember that or it could kill me. Alcoholism is a disease and I don't think you can truly be recovered from. I remember the first time I was court ordered to go to alcoholics anonymous and I thought it was a joke that they would send me there. I would go to meetings drunk and would just be there to get a signature on a piece of paper to satisfy the judge's order. I fooled them for six months by signing names to it and not even going. I was really only fooling myself though as I really did have a drinking problem. I was what they call a functioning alcoholic. I worked a full time job, drinking on most of my lunches, and made a living. Although my dad was a great crutch for me as he put up with me as I lived with him until I was 28. Then one day it all fell apart and I found myself in jail again. My senses started coming to me and I was sick and tired of living that kind of life and prayed to God to show me the way. And now I am here today to say that I am a recovering alcoholic and proud of it.